Distracting ourselves is one way to manage difficult feelings. Distracting yourself won’t address the underlying problem that is causing the distress. It doesn’t help you to get better at tolerating an uncomfortable feeling either. But it is a very good way of giving yourself some space from an uncomfortable feeling. Sometimes we aren’t ready or able to tackle the real problem. Before working on tolerating an emotion you’d normally avoid psychologists recommend learning to soothe or distract yourself so you have that in place to support you first.
Starting with some non-harmful ways of distracting yourself means that when a distressing emotion arises you already have a go-to way of coping in a crisis or stressful event. Once that is in place you can expand your skills by learning to soothe yourself, or by experimenting with learning to tolerate distressing feelings. It can take some time to learn to tolerate distress so it’s good to have strategies to support yourself in the meantime.
Exercise: Practising distraction
1. Make a list of all the different (non-harmful) ways you could distract yourself.
2. Make them suitable for you e.g. affordable, non-harmful, non-habit forming.
3. Thinking about different types of distraction might help you come up with ideas.
- practical: hobbies, exercise, puzzles, social activity
- mental: meditation, visualisation, mental puzzles, daydreams, project planning…
- emotional: music, tv etc. that produces a different emotion
An example:
I like physical activity as a distraction, particularly when I’m feeling anxious. Visiting my allotment is usually perfect for me but sometimes the weather is too awful or I don’t have the energy. I’ll need to come up with some alternatives. Puzzles might work well. Knitting is also good needing just enough concentration but not too much.
Sources
Goss, Kenneth. The Compassionate Mind Approach to Beating Overeating. First Edition. Robinson Publishing, 2011.
Smith, Julie. Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? UK: Michael Joseph, 2022. https://manchester.spydus.co.uk/cgi-bin/spydus.exe/ENQ/WPAC/BIBENQ?SETLVL=&BRN=3193540.